During his last visit, Dave had “accidentally” set Ruth’s alarm clock for 4 am. She needed to see a dentist this week* so there is not much word from her. LaVere has been sick, and Dave worries more about his mother taking care of him than he does for his youngest brother. He relates stories of a “spririted horse” and a run-in with the woman he shared a ride with in a whippet.
*Note the past few posts have been letters dated from Monday-Friday; I’ll see if I can keep this pattern.
March 25, 1935
70 Jay Street
Albany, N.Y.
Dear Dave,
It is now 2:30 p.m. and I suppose you are at this time just getting up. Gee, it must be swell to live a life like some people lead. What a life with nothing to do but eat, sleep and drive a car around the country.
Listen, “Wise Guy”, it is darn lucky for you that I am equipped with a sense of humor or your name would be “Mud”. Thanks a lot for setting the alarm for 4:00 a.m. Let me assure you that your kindness (or what have you) will never be forgotten. However, I am not quite as dumb as I look, so I took a look at Macbeth before I retired. Your efforts were all in vain, but I will see that you get paid in full as your intentions were good.
There goes a man up the street, and has he got the load on! He acts almost as far gone as you did when you took a look at the pretzels.
This morning on my way to work I met Bertha Grosse on Lark Street and made her walk halfway to work with me. She was just coming off duty. We had quite a visit (between yawns).
Well, I just asked for Wednesday afternoon off so I guess my toothache will soon be ended. I am in hopes I can have the darned tooth filled, but Lydia seems to think I can’t. If I have to have it out, I won’t dare to say it hurt even if it does because Lydia says nurses are babies.
How is your brother? I hope he keeps the radio on all the time and listens to all the Buck Rogers, Bobby Benson, and Skippy programs there are. Nope, I’ll take it all back if he does. It will give you an excuse for not writing. You can’t listen to the radio and write at the same time, and I know you wouldn’t miss one of those programs for the world. If you think your brother needs a nurse, remember what I told you.
Monday 9:40 p.m.
I don’t suppose I’ll be seeing you next Sunday or won’t your family arrive this week. I bet you’ll act like the woman in the shoe. Don’t forget they also have to have vitamin C and the best known source is orange or tomato juice. Speaking of vitamins, seems like my pals chizzled a little last night so I’m lacking in vitamin A. I can’t help but think how fortunate I was not to have lost a hand when I grabbed that apple away from Fran.
Come to think of it, I shouldn’t be writing to you this week as you haven’t had time to read the letter you received Saturday yet. Of course I would like to hear from you but by all means, don’t write after you have done a huge days work or you might have a nervous collapse or sompin’. Anyway your mother can’t say the ink bill mounted much last week, at least not from writing to me. However, I wouldn’t say you didn’t use plenty of ink writing to those broken hearted damsels in Tennessee.
I didn’t take a dancing lesson tonight because I expected a phone call. So what?
Choir rehearsal is over for tonight and the cars are leaving, so I guess I will get to bed and to sleep before I hear a “Tom Cat Serenade” under my window. If the cats keep me awake tonight, I think I shall send Macbeth out and I hope he hits them right on the sidewalk or sompin’.
Nuff sed and pul-ease don’t work too hard.
So long,
“Me”
How’s about cutting down on the use of profanity!
March 25, 1935
Middleburg, N.Y.
Dear Ruth,
Since I haven’t any postcards handy I might as well give in again and attempt to write a letter, although it is a shame to squander the extra two cents. Just think, that amount of money saved twice every week would buy me quite a few cigarettes. Wait a minute now, before you pass judgment on me. I just realized that statement might leave the impression that I cared more for cigarettes than for you, but you know better than that don’t you? You should at least.
Say, did you suffer any ill effects from the sandwiches or coffee at Ben’s last night? Fran and I both did or at least we laid it to what we ate. On the way home we decided to eat something more. A case of kill or cure I guess. What do you suppose we had? Yeah, you hit it right, coffee and custard pie, and believe it or not, we did feel much better after we had it. So there, Miss Smart Dietitian, I think I’ll stick to pie instead of spinach.
In spite of the fact that we spent quite some time in the lunch room, we arrived home at the unreasonably early hour of three a.m. In fact it was so early my mother asked me when I came in if anything had happened. Everyone except me seemed to have the “get home early” spirit last night and I just had to fall in line as I was too much in the minority to do any arguing.
Speaking of time, I hope you discovered the error I made in setting the alarm of Macbeth last night. If you didn’t and the alarm went off at about three a.m., I think it would be wise for me to stay out of Albany next Sunday. What do you think? Really though, I never would have thought of such a thing if you had not put the idea in my head.
I suppose you are taking your dancing lesson tonight. Oh yes, just like you have for the past couple of months. And that idea that men prefer plump ladies is all wrong. Of course that may not be so in the case of the Jewish men but please remember that Lester is happily married and you shouldn’t be trying to bust into the family circle. I think it is about time someone wrote a letter to your Mother and told her about some of your actions. I’ve tried to do my best and keep you on the straight and narrow path but all to no avail. I’ll have to try some new methods I guess. What can you suggest?
Well, Stubby, I’m doing my best to make this letter a little longer than the last one but I’m afraid it won’t be much better. Really, there isn’t much to write about. Anything I do out here wouldn’t be of any interest to you so I just have to ramble on with a lot of nonsense. It seems to me I remember hearing of a book on letter writing that contains a lot of letters already written. I think I’ll get me one and start copying them. Do you think that would work? However, when it comes to short letters I think you still have the record. I distinctly remember one of your letters written entirely on one side of one sheet of paper. So there. On the other hand, I’ll have to give you credit for writing several very nice and long letters, so please keep it up even if I do fall down once in awhile.
By the way, I meant to ask you what did you have Sunday that put you in such high spirits? You certainly were full of pep and probably it is good that you were. For myself, I didn’t feel so peppy until you arrived and your mood must have been catching because I was able to banish the low spirits and at least act natural.
Don’t forget to give me a full account of your doings Thursday evening.
For now I’ll say good night and snatch myself some sleep. No, I didn’t do any sleeping this morning. I think more of my breakfast than I do of sleep.
Dave
March 27, 1935
Middleburg, N.Y.
Dear Ruth,
In spite of the fact that you have given me some swell excuses for not writing, I will disregard them all and do it anyway. I could even add a couple to those you put forth but I’ll save them for some future date. Of course I realize I am running the risk of incurring a nervous breakdown by spending my time thusly when I should be resting but I’ll take the chance. If I should become either mentally or physically incapacitated by this extra effort, would it be possible to secure your valuable assistance to aid in my recovery?
So you did discover the mistake I made in setting the alarm. I didn’t think it would escape your notice although I suppose I’ll have to suffer for it just as much as if you had been aroused from your slumbers.
Say, did your letter contain some heavy sarcasm? I’ll say. I think I would be fully justified in coming back with a few slams but I’ll let most of it pass, providing it doesn’t happen again and you don’t jump on me too hard for my mistake. How about it? Is it a peace pact or do you want war? At any rate I’ll come fully armed Sunday night so you will not catch me unprepared.
Just to show you a sample of my warfare I’ll say right now that I hope you didn’t get your phone call Monday night just because you stayed away from the dancing lesson to receive it.
You don’t mean to tell me that you of all persons could ever think of harming a cat, especially those soft, furry creatures that gather beneath one’s windows at night and give forth all sorts of sweet musical sounds. Don’t tell me you could be so cruel. You’re breaking my heart. Poor pussy. Why I’ve stayed awake for hours listening to those melodious concerts.
LaVere is still on the sick list. If he doesn’t show improvement soon, I’m going to bring him to Albany for an examination. A nurse would probably do Mother more good than it would him. She sits up half the night with him and does more worrying than is necessary. She has always been too darn good to all of us. Probably we don’t appreciate it half as much as we should. Boy, I’ll say he has the radio going now. I’ve even vacated my favorite chair in front of it and given him full possession.
I nearly ran over a girl today. It was so close I am still shaking and before you go making any remarks or drawing conclusions let me state that it was not my fault. I was driving along the road and this girl was walking towards me. Before I got near her I noticed she was walking rather erratically and I also recognized her as the girl I told you about riding home with from Albany a couple of weeks ago. Knowing something of her condition, I slowed up and it is a lucky thing I did. When I was about twenty feet from her she fell full length directly in the road and I did some quick stopping and turning to avoid hitting her. I got out and picked her up and tried to get her to go back to her house but she would not do it. She was so weak she couldn’t stand alone and while I was deciding what to do, two state troopers came along. They went back and got her father and after a short consultation they put her in their car and started for Pavilion F. So I imagine by this time she is being well taken care of, although she is probably far beyond much help. It is just the end of another dissipated life.
If I don’t stop writing, I’ll be another case myself, from a different cause however. At least you can’t bawl me out for writing a short letter this week so I’m wondering what it will be. I remember one week when I did write a rather lengthy epistle and I’ll be darned if I didn’t get called then for not having it fat enough to cause trouble getting it under the door. So I ask you, what is a poor guy like me to do? There should be a law to protect the poor men from inconsiderate women and when I get to be president I’ll see that there is.
By the way, did you mean that about cutting out profanity? Does that go for you, too? It will be easy for me but quite tough on you I should say or is it to be a one-sided affair with me doing all the refraining?
If I don’t stop soon, I won’t even have room to sign my name and you will be in doubt as to who this is from, so here goes ‘til Sunday.
Dave
March 28, 1935
Middleburg, N.Y.
Dear Ruth,
No, I’m not sick. I haven’t any fever and my pulse is normal. I haven’t any special favors to ask and there is nothing special to write about. I am just writing because I have nothing better to do at the moment and I happen to be in the mood. Incidentally, it may be that I am trying to satisfy a small bit of curiosity that has been bothering me. You see, I have been bawled out for writing short letters and long ones and for not writing often enough. Now I am going to see if I get a calling down for writing too often. Don’t expect this to keep up though. It is just an experiment and will last for one week only. Maybe by getting ahead like this I will be able to skip next week without writing. What do you think?
You should have seen me this morning trying to handle a spirited horse. I have a bunch of logs up in the wood and this morning I took the horse up to draw them out. He has been standing in the stable doing nothing but eating grain for over a month so he was full of the three V’s. (Can you dope that one out?)1 Anyway, in less than an hour I had wrecked two sets of harnesses and still no logs out. Not to be outdone by a horse, however, I went back after dinner and managed to get him cooled down where he was working good and then it started to rain so I had to quit anyway.
After that I went down to P.H. to see Fran and I helped him do some work in the “Love Nest” the rest of the afternoon. I think he intends to come into Albany early Sunday afternoon and bring Lydia out here on another sightseeing tour. He will pick me up here and we will all come back to Albany.
I think I have written enough now so this will pass for a letter inasmuch as I don’t owe you anyway. Furthermore, I think that if you say even one mean word to me Sunday night, I’ll turn green, go out in the garden and eat worms and never come near you again. So there, Miss Smarty, better get on your sweet disposition and act good or will you consider this an opportunity and say plenty of mean things.
Good night, and who owes who?
Dave
March 29, 1935
70 Jay Street
Albany, N.Y.
Dear Dave,
Just about tomorrow when you don’t get a letter from me, you will have about forty-leven fits. However, I will offer an excuse and poor as it may be, you will have to let it be sufficient. You see, it was something like this, yesterday Lydia and I went down to the dentist and I had my tooth out. I have to go again tomorrow so he can look at where the tooth used to be, treat one and maybe fill another. I went back to work at 5:45 and stayed until 8:30. Lydia came and spent the evening with me and besides I didn’t feel like writing. Probably if I had written, you would have gotten bawled out, so you are lucky I didn’t write.
I’ll let Lydia tell you how I yelled or maybe you heard me so she won’t have to. The only reason I didn’t swear, was because he had my mouth open and I couldn’t. He used Novocain and he might just as well have used water. I guess I must have an idiosyncrasy to local anesthesia. At least it didn’t have much effect. Nuff sed.
We also went down street and I purchased the long-threatened rolling pin. I didn’t get glass, but I believe the wood is non-split so I am sure it will be just as good. I think I’ll try it out on you first and if it doesn’t split, I am sure it will be o.k. for Fran.
Listen, don’t be trying to blame that dark brown feeling you had Sunday night to anything you ate at “Bens”. I think you were having a swell hangover or sompin’, anyhow you had all of the symptoms.
You might be interested in learning that Lester is not coming up this weekend. Also that the date I had for tonight went on the rocks due to the fact that I was supposed to work tonight so Mrs. Thorn could go out. I worked until 9:30 but she didn’t go out as her mother has neuritis in her good hand and has moaned, groaned and screamed at regular intervals all day. I felt a lot like hearing it, but I think I felt more like making it a duet. No doubt she does suffer a lot, but she hasn’t a bit or nerve and the rest of the family is just like her. Arthur had a tooth out this afternoon and had to go right home and go to bed. What a joke!
When I told Loretta I couldn’t meet her, she says, “Gosh darn that woman anyway.” She says we can have it some night next week so don’t be laughing at me too much.
Lydia tells me that she is going to Preston Hollow Sunday afternoon. If you do, for crying in the sink, don’t let them get too far away from reality or you won’t get back to Albany until sometime Monday. Maybe you remember what a job two of us had getting them back to earth the other time, so I don’t know what to expect with just one to remind them.
You needn’t bother writing anything to my mother about me. She knows without being told what an angelic little thing I am, or should I put that in the past tense. She might tell you I was o.k. until I got in with such a tough bunch from Middleburg.
By the way, I just happened to remember that I bought me some jelly beans yesterday. Do you like them? O.k. you may watch me eat them.
Did Fran have any trouble with his lip? When I got home Sunday night, I took half of it out from under my fingernail. If he wants it back, he may have it if he can furnish identification.
The contents of my cranial cavity refuse to function so I think I’ll draw this epistle to a finis. It is now five minutes in front of eleven p.m. and I’m sleepy, tired, etc. Seven o’clock comes in a very short time, so I will quit and let you do something for the headache that this no doubt has caused you.
Ruth
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